Is it possible to love to much? I have always loved people deeply. When I fall in love I fall hard and when it is over I mourn for months. Does this make me crazy? weird? I have been told both of those things when I did not just walk away and get over it quickly. This has been an issue my whole life. I know that in some cases I have been in love with a person who is either disconnected or does not love themselves. Those always end badly because when we do not love ourselves we push away people who love us because we think there must be something wrong with them.
So I am still hurting. I have been punishing myself over this. I thought I was ok and then it all came rushing back. The thing is I know that I was not completely happy in my relationship. I will not go into why or what could have changed that because it is over and I cannot go back. I think the thing that tortures me the most is that I seem to be the only one hurting over it….so I question myself…is something wrong with me? I see others who end relationships just jump into something else and I have done that as well. I cannot do that again. I have to figure out how to be Rauncie right now. The squirrels have been super busy telling me how to end the pain and it is always over the top and life ending stuff. That is not what I want. I want to live. I want to do all the things I have been pushing aside. I am just feeling overwhelmed with emotion right now and I sometimes just want to curl up and forget it all.