In my case, everything.
I do not understand why people are so afraid to use the word love. I can love in so many different ways. It is a good thing to open your heart to allow love in and to give it in return. It seems that people are afraid that by saying the word love they are locking themselves in. Actually it may be that those who are afraid of using the word love aren’t really afraid at all. They just know you are only for the moment and when something or someone shinier at the moment comes along you will be forgotten so why waste such a powerful word. Either that or they are easily bored and have to constantly play roulette with people’s hearts. I have found that people who are bored easily are the most boring people. It has been a frustration of mine in the past. I will not let it happen again. If a person whether friend or lover cannot use the word love I will take that as a sign that they are not open to a give and take relationship. I will never be with another man who is constantly looking through me at someone else. I will never date another man who uses me for what he can get while chasing other women. It is humiliating and damaging. No woman should be treated that way and neither should a man. I will not allow myself to be friends with a man or woman who contributes to the pain of someone else for their own selfish desires. I need ethical loving people in my life. I need completely honesty not fake bullshit.
That being said I want to say I do have ethical, honest people in my life. I have friends who practice true ethical poly. I have friends who if a guy I was dating approached them for sex or dishonestly would say “fuck off” and tell me immediately. I have friends that would come to me to talk if there was ever an issue rather than sneak behind my back. I trust the people in my life who have proved themselves. These are the kinds of friends I need in my life. If the same happened to me, if your bf or gf was trying to be dishonest and I knew about it I would tell them. I have been hurt deeply by treacherous people who were not grown enough to be honest.