Fixing my Code

So I have been reading and seeing things lately that have me thinking that I have been taking the wrong approach in living life in a more productive and happy way.  First of all I saw a video about the longest study of human behavior that said that people who have good relationships are the happiest.  It talks about how those who have bad relationships, who stay in bad marriages, who are around toxic people and do not get out of those situations are going to be unhappy and probably have more issues with end of life brain problems.  I can see why.  I know what it is like to be totally fixated on the terrible things going on in a relationship.  I know what it is like to wake up feeling doomed and sad.  I know what it is like to feel trapped and suffocated.  I know what it is like to be with someone who reminds you every day that you are not worthy of love.  But the question is…how did I end up there?

My code is corrupted.  What if the issue is the programming I received as a child.   The times I was told it was evil and wrong to be proud of who I was.  The times I was told sex was a terrible thing and men only want you for one thing.  The times I was told I had ruined my life.  My code was corrupted early on and I saw the world in a way that was influenced by all these early downloads.  What if I could go back to my early edition, Laurence 10.0 and see the world from there.  If I did my world would look like this…

The world is a magical wonderful place full of people I can make friends with.  I am a beautiful smart woman with dreams that need to be followed and paths I need to take.  I am full of great ideas and when I share them they are accepted by people who want to help to make them reality and if they are not accepted I will find someone who is open and willing to listen and who believes in me.  I can run away and join the circus anytime I want to and I can ride my bike, stand up on the seat and put my arms out with my eyes closed even if it is dangerous because it feels amazing.   I go to sleep smiling and I no longer worry about tomorrow because I am too busy enjoying today.

So what is stopping me?


I intend to fix that.  I am working on that code right now.  I will find the corrupted downloads and eradicate them.  The rest of my life… is going to be the best of my life.