It really is ok to be sad sometimes.  It is ok to regret things you have done.  It is ok to cry till snot runs all over the place and you feel like you cannot breath.  It is ok to let all of that sadness out.  In fact it feels good.  After I cry I sleep.  After I cry I feel relief.  I need to stop holding that shit in for days.

As stated in an earlier post I made today I refuse to let others dictate to me what I should feel.  I am a deeply passionate loving person.  I love deeply and when I lose a love I mourn.  I have been mourning for three months.  Actually I was mourning before that but I did not realize it.  I have been mourning myself.

So here I am and as you can see from my eyes…I am sad but I am building up a flame inside and I am rising again.  I am working hard on all those things through all the years that have kept me down.  I have learned that if I want to be happy I have to have boundaries and I have to love myself.   It is just a fact.   I will love myself as fiercely as I have loved those who have walked away.  I deserve this love.

I’m back.