If we are seeking spiritual enlightenment we must ask ourselves if our needs, lust and wants are more important than the pain it may cause someone else.  We may see something or someone as a gift but a gift at the price of someone else suffering is not a true gift.  We are handing the person we are hurting a box of darkness that when opened will find it’s way back to us like tentacles seeking their origin.   We cannot blame the other for being hurt and lashing out in that pain.  We are seeing our own future in the beginning of the suffering we have caused someone else. We will not escape.   Wishing good to the person we have harmed is like taking a dropper of water to a roaring bonfire and pretending we have done our duty.  We should not expect to be forgiven just because we have sent some good energy out of guilt or self righteousness to a heart we have wounded.   We must remember that every action we take affects those around us.