I have not been writing much lately.  It is not because I do not have anything to say it is because it all seems to be jumbled up in my brain in a way that I cannot untangle it.  I am confused about how I feel about so much in my life.  One moment I think that I am just one of those people who needs to have a intimate partner and the next I feel I am better off alone.  I have been working on healing from my past relationships.  I am working on forgiving those who have wounded me.  I am trying my best to focus on myself.  I feel like I have always been alone even though I have had relationships for most of my life.  I have always been with emotionally unavailable people that I invest love into only to be rejected.   I am really tired of it.   I want to go back to the days when I could go dance and not even have to talk to anyone…on the dance floor I felt free.  I would dance and then just go home.  I had no regrets.  I felt no jealousy.  I felt no envy.  I just danced.  It was my therapy and it helped me so much.  I am still working through that loss.  I am moving on.