I have not been writing much lately. It is not because I do not have anything to say it is because it all seems to be jumbled up in my brain in a way that I cannot untangle it. I am confused about how I feel about so much in my life. One moment I think that I am just one of those people who needs to have a intimate partner and the next I feel I am better off alone. I have been working on healing from my past relationships. I am working on forgiving those who have wounded me. I am trying my best to focus on myself. I feel like I have always been alone even though I have had relationships for most of my life. I have always been with emotionally unavailable people that I invest love into only to be rejected. I am really tired of it. I want to go back to the days when I could go dance and not even have to talk to anyone…on the dance floor I felt free. I would dance and then just go home. I had no regrets. I felt no jealousy. I felt no envy. I just danced. It was my therapy and it helped me so much. I am still working through that loss. I am moving on.