Last night I closed the door.  I would be lying if I said that I had closed it months ago.  I kept it ajar and checked it on occasion to see if there was still some possibility.  But the truth is that I did not want to step back through that door.  When I was a part of that relationship I was living a lie.  I was trying to be something I was not to make someone else happy and in the process I was killing my true self.  When things ended I was bitter and angry and I put that anger on the wrong person.  I am sorry for that.  I will no longer blame someone who is not to blame.  I will not blame anyone.  I have looked my past in the face and said I forgive you and I am ready to move on.  I needed to say it.  I needed to say goodbye for good to what I used to to have.  Each chapter of my life has a lesson in it.  The lesson of this chapter has been to never lose my authentic self again.  I get this thought in my head every time that this will be my last love, that I will never be loved again …  that is not true.  Right now I just need to work on daily meditations of forgiveness and taking care of myself.  I wish nothing but happiness to those I have walked with in this world.  I am a work in progress and your entrance in my life helped me to grow.