My last post was on March 14th and I said in that post that I would probably be home for a couple of weeks. Today is April 16th and I have only left my home one time, yesterday. I never dreamed I would be in isolation for this long. I feel blessed. I have so many friends who are on the front lines. My son became sick right about the time I went into isolation. He lives in a small rural community where people still do not seem to believe how serious this is. It was terrifying. He was not able to get a test. After testing him for the flu and strep which was negative they told him to go home and if he got worse to call back or go to the hospital. Three days later he was having trouble breathing. He was told to go for a chest x-ray. He was told he did not have pneumonia. They still did not test him. They told him only those who need to be hospitalized were being tested. They just did not have enough tests. They said “just go home and treat yourself as if you have it. If it gets worse and you cannot breath call 911.” He is my first born. I remember his first smile, his first laugh and the first sound he made. I was heartbroken that I may lose my son without even getting to hug him goodbye. We talked on the phone several times a day. That call would always start with me asking “are you ok?” I just wanted him to be ok. He was lucky. He began to get better. But we still feel like we are holding our breath…who will be next? My sister who works at a WalMart in Louisiana. Walmart,who lied to the press and said they would suspend their attendance policy for the month of April and three days later told the associates the policy was back. To be sick at Walmart means losing your job. It does not matter if you are at high risk like my sister. Everyday I worry that I will get a call that she is sick. She almost died as a child from pneumonia and her lungs are scarred. She has been hospitalized before as an adult with pneumonia. She is risking her life so people can buy TV’s and junk and try to pretend life is normal….when it is not.
All of the events I had planned for this year are cancelled and I have had time to breath. I usually run from event to event on pure adrenaline. I have become accustomed to the quiet. It occurred to me this afternoon that I had been working in complete silence for the entire day. My body has calmed down. My mind is starting to.
So now I work from home and long to hug those I love. I have my little dog Mister Bojangles who sleeps next to me. I have hope that when we all come out of this that we will remember what we did not have during this time. Connection with others is what really matters. I have hope that soon I will be able to hug those I love and tell them how much they mean to me. I will never take that for granted again…never.