I have had issues with depression for as long as I can remember. I have learned over my life to hide it as much as I can but sometimes I just cannot. I found this article that I felt explained how my life is much of the time. People find it hard to believe that I suffer with depression or say things like “you have so much to be happy about.” I do have so much to be grateful for and I am grateful but it does not stop me from having depression at times that is so deep that I have intrusive thoughts about ending my life. It is not because of circumstances most of the time. It is just something I cannot control. I am even on medication for once in my life but I am having a deep valley experience right now. I am working with my therapist and my doctor but something has to give. I cannot go on like this.
Maybe there is some kind of treatment or breakthrough that can help me. I am willing to try anything.