Wednesday afternoon I logged out of Facebook on my computer and took the apps off my phone.
Wednesday night I got anxious that I might miss a message from someone that is important and logged back on to see.
Later Wednesday night I got even more anxious and went on messenger to see if my last pm’s had been read.
Thursday morning in my car I start thinking of logging in.
Thursday morning at my desk …”I will just check my messages really quick.” As soon as I logged in I felt sick. My stomach tensed up, my pulse went up and I felt I would throw up.
I just logged out again and will do my best not to log in again. I need to explain that this is not just about Facebook and Facebook is not an evil thing. It is however how I keep a connection with people and that is my real addiction. I need to feel cared about. This morning I listened to a guided meditation and it said “now imagine a time when you felt completely loved unconditionally by a significant other” Blank….I started running my life through my mind and getting more and more upset as I realized I had nothing…..no time I felt completely loved by someone. I believe this is why I love so deeply…because it is what I want for myself. So for now I will love myself and keep away from the website that only feeds my insecurity.