I truly am my own worst enemy.  I have come to the conclusion that when nothing is wrong my brain works hard to find what might be wrong and I am constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop.  This comes from my PTSD and being on high alert constantly.  It has ruined more than one relationship in my life.  I have very little trust and when I partner up with someone who is less than completely honest or does not communicate clearly with me it is a recipe for disaster.   I am having so much anxiety today.  The unknown is terrifying for me and there is so much in my life that is unknown right now.  I am mourning loss and the clouds are so dark I can’t see my future.  I know I am blessed.  If I could just stop feeling this way I would.