I have issues with emotional regulation because of rejection sensitive dysphoria. I have learned a lot over the past 5 years or so about what to do when I have a wave of emotion come over me. When I first started doing this work I went the opposite way and just shut down. I would literally hold my breath, become silent and walk away. This response was damaging me as much as when I would immediately act on strong emotions and make choices that hurt others or myself. Today I have some tools and I do my best to reach for those tools when I am struggling. 

1. The first thing I do is to communicate that I need to have time to think about the situation if this is in a conversation or an instance where it is someone who is important in my life. I ask for space to do that. I am not perfect so this does not always happen. Sometimes I just shut down, stop hearing and I remain silent. Once I have had a chance to think things through I will go to the person and let them know what has been going on.
2. Remembering that in some situations there may be a misunderstanding. A good example of this would be when I feel left out of something and I feel rejected and hurt over it. My first instinct is to just sit in my hurt and never say anything but I have learned that I need to go to the person or group of people and ask “Was this on purpose or an oversight? If it was on purpose can we talk about why?” If I just keep silent I build up a resentment and a story in my head. This is not healthy for me.
3. I do deep inner work to know my own boundaries and what I need to stay safe. I take responsibility for those boundaries. If I need to stay away from certain people or events I do that. If I need to say “I can do this, but not this with you” I do that. I also re examine those boundaries on a regular basis. 
4. I remind myself that other people have different perspectives and what I think the story may be is just my thoughts and not facts. 
5. I remember to not takes things personally and that each person has their own path and perspective.
6. I consider how my behavior and reaction affects others. It is not all about me. I strive to live sacred in a sacred world.
7. I do make the choice to burn a bridge occasionally. I do this when I need to protect myself.  

This is an ongoing practice for me and I learn from it with every situation when I find myself overwhelmed with emotion.