Last week the burlesque world lost a sparkling light that can never be replaced.
We must speak out. We must speak up. When our sisters say things to us like “my boyfriend doesn’t like that” “I can’t because my boyfriend will get upset” We need to say…”Sister can I help? I understand. I will be here for you” When our sisters and brothers are being emotionally, verbally and physically abused we need to speak up. We need to be present and listen. We need to put aside our societies practice of looking the other way or feeling “that is their personal business.” It is our business to protect those around us. Yes, some may become angry. They may even stop talking to us but here is the most important thing. No matter what the reaction let them know you are there for them when they are ready. I am a survivor and the worst thing I experienced was having family say things that let me know they were judging and rejecting me. When a person is in a situation like this they need to know they have support. The person they are with is working to isolate them and is whispering or shouting in their ear that they have no one to help them. When someone is in a situation like this they are being controlled and broken. They begin to believe that they do not deserve better. They may feel humiliated and embarrassed. They sometimes begin to feel that maybe they even deserve it. I felt all these things and it kept me from reaching out when I needed help. Help them to feel that they are worthy of real love and that we are here to help. Be that lighthouse that they can look for in times of trouble.
It is my life goal to help those who are where I used to be. I am heartbroken that a beloved sister in our community is now lost to us. Let us come together and do all we can to help others. Our community is grieving. Let us take this energy that feels like our very hearts are being eclipsed and use it to take action.