Sober Work: Amends

Sometimes the lessons we have learned in life circle back around as a reminder of where we have been. I am in a state of deep contemplation right now about how my past behavior may have hurt others. Regardless of my intentions sometimes the things I have done have hurt others. I may think “I did not do anything to intentionally hurt someone”. But it does not change the fact that someone may have been hurt by my actions or words. I am not responsible for others feelings however I do feel it is important to examine my past and make amends when it is called for. Sometimes the amends are made not with a sorry but with an action. I have taken some actions recently so that others are not hurt by the processing I was doing publicly. It helped me at the time but rereading it all on my birthday I made the choice to make most of it private.

When we make amends we really do have to ask ourselves what our motivation is. I would never go to someone and tell them something that they did not even know about 10 years after the fact if it is something that does not affect them today but would definitely blow their life up emotionally. That would be me just getting it off my chest and feeling better that I had been honest. Amends are so much more deep than that. A situation like that is something to think long and hard about before I stride up to someone and say…”oh by the way I did this and I am sorry”. Is it going to help? Is it going to heal? Is it going to cause more damage? I have to ask myself all those questions.