So I finally decided to leave Facebook.  This was not an easy decision.  I have used FB to keep up with family and friends for almost 10 years.  I checked it many times a day and it was the first thing I saw in the morning and the last thing at night.    Over time it has gotten out of control and grown into a huge monster that needs to be fed every hour or so.  It is constantly tapping on my shoulder and asking for attention and I just cannot do it anymore.  It is like being in a really bad relationship that you have trouble letting go of because of the good memories.  I feel sick at my stomach about it.  I feel like I am already going through withdrawal.  I am having thoughts about how I will miss out on everything and that I will be forgotten and left behind.  That is pretty heavy for me because abandonment is a huge issue for me.  But I have to do this.  I can no longer spend hours reading posts and negative news.  I can no longer scroll past pictures that make my heart hurt.  I had a conversation with a friend last night who let me know that her sister had similar issues and deleted her Facebook app but uploaded the messenger so she could keep in contact with people.  I have decided to do that.  I will be keeping my messenger so that I can continue to talk to my close family and friends on a one to one basis.

I found a website for people who are leaving Facebook.  They challenge you to 99 days  and at the end they interview you about your happiness level.  It is 99daysoffreedom.com.  I am going to use that countdown as well and be a part of the experiment.  It has inspired me to do 99 days instead of the month I originally planned.

So here we go…..

My mom’s favorite saying when I was a teenager and beyond was “You have ruined your life!”  This was usually in response to something I did that was a not socially acceptable or out of the box she felt I needed to stay in.  Anytime I spoke up, was sexual, was not obeying the religion I grew up in or basically did anything she did not approve of.  That saying haunted me for a very long time and at one point I just gave up because I believed it.  I figured if I had ruined my life I might as well just be as bad as possible and it really would not matter.  Because of that I have some crazy stories to tell.  I did however pick myself up at one point and decided to get a real job and be at least partially acceptable to society.   I created this blog so I would have a place to share some of those crazy stories and write about the things I experience in my life now.

So thanks mom, that saying may help me become a best selling author someday.